Your Story. Yes, you have one. Yes I have one. The thing is your story is not your destiny as written. It is up to you how your write it from this moment on. And you can even clean up what has already been written on those pages (your past) and live your life as you never imagined you could.
We tell ourselves “our story” all the time. It is usually not even on a conscious level. It is so hardwired into us that it works on auto pilot, creating our present and the outcomes of our actions.
What if you could re-write or edit your story?
How would you change it if you could?
Maybe you can’t rewrite all the circumstances of your life, but you can change the meaning of them and what you made it mean about you. You can change your beliefs about what you can or can’t achieve, your beliefs about having a hereditary disease, your beliefs about who you are as a person and why you even exist on this planet.
I am here to tell you that this is possible. Most of our beliefs are negative in theory. They have been collecting in our minds since we were born, about how people treated us in varying circumstances. We took on what these things meant and created beliefs about ourselves that have either propelled us into positive action or most likely paralyzed us from achieving what we are meant to achieve. And our busy brains took all these beliefs and weaved them into crazy vows – which hold much more strength than just plain old beliefs. And these are harder to see and even harder to break.
Let’s take a look at some common beliefs we hold and where they may have originated:
You were sexually abused as a child – “my value to the planet is with sex” – this can create extreme low self-esteem and the ability to ever have a satisfying relationship, especially an intimate relationship
You were physically abused as a child – “when you love someone it’s ok to hurt them” or “I’m not lovable” –you usually continue to physically abuse yourself, usually in the form of not taking care of yourself (eating bad, not exercising, addictions)
You were verbally abused as a child – “I can never do anything right” – so why even bother? This affects career and not having the ability to be proud of anything you do. You continue the verbal abuse with the things you tell yourself throughout the day
You were neglected as a child – “I’m not worthy, I have no value” – this is the most common and shows itself in everything you do but particularly in the area of finances
If you’ve had any of the experiences above or can relate in other ways to them, just know this doesn’t mean that is who you are. Only you decide. When we care about what WE think or who we want to be then we can make these changes from victim to victor. It is never too late to have a meaningful and fulfilling life!
In order to “fix” this, yes you do need to step back into the past, very briefly. We need to find out when these beliefs were formed and which ones we strengthened into vows and what we made this all mean about us. And when we do this, we can actually find the GOOD from these experiences and change our present and future reality.
YES, YES, YES, this is possible! How do I know? Because I have done it! It took some work, but you know what, it wasn’t really that painful. And I am so empowered and confident in my life now. Out of my own experience of the past few years, I have created a 10 week process to help others do this too – and I’ve taken people through this with fabulous results!
Guess what, your story is YOUR story. Which means you hold the pen, you can write it however you want. Happy ending? Alrighty then!
Please share in the comments WHAT it is about your story that you wish you could change – and what would be possible for you if you were able to?
There is only one part of my life I would love to rewrite and that was when I was 38 and was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It was caught early, I had radiation and for 20 years no issues. One year ago I was diagnosed with Advanced lung cancer. I am a non smoker but the real kicker here is it was caused by my radiation 20 years ago. I wish I could rewrite my story and never have had breast cancer because if that had never happened, I wouldn’t be fighting lung cancer now.
I do believe having received a second cancer diagnosis, has made me be a big help to others going through it. I am just hoping my ending will not happen for another 20 years.
Thanks for sharing your story Beverly. I am so sorry you are going through this! I’m teaching a Reiki class this weekend and if it’s ok I would love to have the class send you some love and healing energy. We (the planet) want you around for another 20+ years as well! Blessings to you lovely Beverly!
Beverly, I had no idea you were going through this and I’m sorry it was caused by trying to cure you 20 years ago! Medical science has changed and progressed, I hope they’re able to help you out this time again, so that yes, you’re around for another 20 years or more!
Great piece, Laura! I always use the analogy of life as a book. Life is just like a fabulous novel; there are twists and turns and by the end, anything can happen! If I’m going through something I just think “well, that’s a downer chapter… can’t wait to write the next one” 🙂
Love that Heidi! “well, that’s a downer chapter…” lol!
Very cool post Laura! I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how extremely subjective our experience is and how very much it is like a story that we are telling ourselves. Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks Don – I love the article you wrote today. Has a lot of meaning on how we can change our story or at least our experience of it. It was great!
I am literally rewriting my story using morning pages – spilling all the garbage that made up my own story and looking at the facts or rewording them. Some of it will come out in public as this weeks blog post did. Love it – I now choose my story!
Awesome Louise! Can’t wait to read what you write!
So true. If we’re open and curious, a little coaching can go a long way to reveal and challenge assumptions. Great post.
Thanks for your comment Susan, I agree!
I too firmly believe that we can change how our story is written. I myself have gone through the lifting of the beliefs. I took a lot to get through this as well as much patience and understanding from my loving husband as I did. I t does help you grow though and help you create more of what you want in life…it helps to write a better ending!!
Yay for loving husbands! That sure helps, glad you had that support Lisa!
Awesome post Laura! I learned how to do something similar through Reiki and NLP and I’m so thankful to be able to re-write some of my life events.
Reiki and NLP – good stuff! There are so many tools out there for us, I love healing!
I’ve re-invented myself many times across my five decades. Each time I’ve found peace, fun, and fulfillment. Changing my story has led to some great adventures.
That is so awesome Kimba! I find with each new “big” birthday (one that has a zero after it) I do a lot of reflection and end up loving life more than ever! It just keeps getting better if you take the time to delve in.
Love this Laura as I have remade most of my ‘story’ and let go of a lot of baggage. That said, I wouldn’t change any of it since I needed it all to get here. I do hope I know enough to find the joy and love in every moment,
Nice!
I used to think I would change parts of my life but I do feel like they have all taught me such valuable lessons… so I usually decide to not interfere 😉 BUT there is one part where I was mean to someone I loved/love… and that still pains me. Looking back I can understand why and what was going on for me and even see the mirror presented, but its still painful to know that I did that. I understand that it is my ego hanging onto the pain… but its one of those things I haven’t completely been able to reconcile!
<3 Mimi
Yes, guilt and shame can be a nasty side effect of that our ego presents when holding on. A forgiveness process of some kind would be great for you! And remember, there is a lesson in that as well!
Laura,
I remember the day one of my mentors said, “Angie, what story are you living RIGHT NOW?” As a writer myself, that question stumped me. I hadn’t even considered that in that very moment I was actually creating my life story. It was awesome and got me to look at things differently, making note that I am the author of my own story and I CAN rewrite the past if I choose to. I have had amazing transformations through the process of revisiting and rewriting what I once thought was my destruction. I have discovered that, instead, it was actually the beginning of something beautiful. Every time.
Sounds like lots of happy endings all in one lifetime!
It is amazing how many people get hung up on the previous chapters of their life and can’t look to writing new ones. Part of what I do in Tarot is to help people move onto the new chapters of their life. Sometimes it’s easy, other times not so much…. but love your take on re-writing not the story, but the perceptions of the negative times.