This time of the year causes a lot of excess stress for many people. There are many reasons, but they usually all have the same core or root: because we are going to be surrounded by family and friends that all contain and exude different energy.
It’s hard enough to manage our own energy, but trying to do it while stirring the soup of the collective energy can be overwhelming. What to do?
Well here are a few of the things I have done in the past in order to be in the same room (or house) with multiple personalities during the holidays.
Prepare yourself – depending on how your holidays are set up, you may or may not need to use all these tips. For instance, if you are hosting at your own home there is more you need to do.
- Clear your home before guests arrive and after guests leave. Using sage or incense to smoke out any negative, stale or stagnant energy. This can help set up the atmosphere as guests arrive and then work to clear away any undesirable energy that may remain after they leave
- Take time for your own practice. Use water in the form of a bath or shower to clear your energy. Do at least 20 minutes of meditation and focus on your breath, grounding and gratitude
- Let people help. They want to! Whether contributing to the meal by making part of it, taking care of the kids for a few hours before company, doing dishes, etc. Don’t be SuperPerson and try to do it all yourself. For one you will miss all the fun and two your stress will be very apparent and cause others to take on the same energy
- If there are certain people that always seem to trigger you, do a forgiveness process around them a few days before the event. It is amazing how when we do these processes we can manage being around them easier
- Have a backup stress reliever in your pocket. It is best to try to find this through meditation beforehand. Like that touching your heart will put you back into a place of love. Or feeling roots growing out of your feet and into the earth will ground you. There are a variety of things you can do to pull your attention back into focus and release your stress
- Realize that this is only one day (or a few days) out of your entire life and that in the scheme of all things they are really much less important than you think they are in the moment
- You can always escape to the bathroom for a quick “get back into the present moment” exercise. One way is to do some 4 square breathing. Take a deep breath in through your nose slowly to the count of 4. Hold it gently to the count of 4. Release it deliberately through your mouth to the count of 4. Relax to the count of 4. Repeat as needed until you feel calm and present
- If you can’t leave the room but feel negative energy flying around, you can stop it from entering into your energy by simply crossing your legs at the ankles and either crossing your arms (if not rude) or touching your thumb and fingertips together. You can also do dry bathing as a quick way to release energy on your body – simply brush your arms starting with your left arm and right hand, sweeping your hand down your arm and flicking the energy off your fingertips then do the other arm. 3 or 4 times on each arm is usually enough. Just do it until it feels done
- When I am in a situation that feels icky, I just keep saying “thank you” “thank you” “thank you” to myself over and over until I can find something that I am really thankful for. It is usually in the form of showing me how grateful I am that I am not like that, or a lesson I can twist it around to show me I’m learning
- Remember, that this too shall pass
This is one (or a handful of) day(s) that are going to be gone again in the blink of an eye. Just like years past. And there will always be someone that holds onto the past and will bring up something that happened every time you get together in the future. But that is their problem. Don’t let that be YOU. Don’t let that control the way you hold yourself this year. If you have an extra glass of wine and get crazy, if the rolls end up burned, if you forgot a gift for so and so – so what? Is it really that horrible? It is just a moment in time and will be over before you know it. And if Cousin Sally brings it up year after year – well seriously, that is her problem.
So this year, just relax.
Laugh, Play, Eat, Drink and Be Merry!
Your “nice” energy may just rub off on others!