This post was inspired by a friend that has been struggling with this for years. In and out of relationships, hooking up with guys that are NOT good for her, just wanting so desperately to find that piece of the puzzle that will create the happiness she has yearned for her entire life.
If you find yourself in this situation then perhaps some of what we discovered can help you as well.
The first thing you need to know is that your perfect partner is YOUR PERFECT PARTNER, not a perfect human being. Perfect for you in the sense that you have similar interests, same sense of community and the same spiritual aspirations. If you are a crappy dancer it doesn’t matter, you can dance with this person. If you can’t sing, you will still sing together at the top of your lungs in the car. If your body is flawed, you can still stand naked in front of this person comfortably.
When you meet them, they will be highlighted for you. This is hard to describe, but it is as if you are seeing their energetic state of being and not their physical being. You will definitely know when this happens because it isn’t something that happens often. It’s like the heavens open and the angels start singing and time stands still. You can’t take your eyes off them, you are entranced. Your entire being is vibrating love and nothing can disturb you. If you have never experienced this don’t worry, you will and you will know when it happens.
If you think there is no one out there for you that is just not true. Before you incarnated you made pacts with many other souls – one of whom you decided to experience crazy love with in this lifetime. S/he may have incarnated years before or after you or may have chosen to live in a different part of the country, making it a little more challenging for you to find each other. But they are here. On this planet. Right now. Don’t give up your search.
So how do you proceed? How do you find each other?
Here are 3 Steps to Finding Your Perfect Partner
1) Find the hidden beliefs that are preventing you from moving forward
In the case of my friend, she had some very serious abandonment issues. Daddy issues if you will. Her father pretty much stepped out of her life when she was 4 years old. She was his little princess up until that time. Being 4 years old, she really could not understand why this happened. So as we do when we are young, she made up her own story. She was not good enough, she was not lovable, she did something wrong that caused him to leave. As silly as this may sound to her as an adult now, these patterns of belief are still ingrained in her mind. And the story gets replayed with every man that steps into her life. Even when it isn’t true, she makes it true. She creates the reality that she believes. She is not good enough. She is not lovable. He will leave her. Somehow she has radar for finding the men that will enforce these beliefs. And she has blinders on and can’t see the ones that are not like this, so she thinks they don’t exist. Step one is finding a great coach that specializes in belief busting (raising my hand!) and working through these patterns to recognize them, understand them, love them and create new ones.
2) Imagine who they might be
The next thing you want to do is sit down and imagine who this person is. Your perfect partner. Remember they already exist, so take some quiet time to perhaps get into a meditative state and connect energetically with them. Then journal what you see, hear and feel. Ask specific questions to you own consciousness. Write these out before you begin and fill in the answers as you connect. Here are a few to get you started:
1) What do they look like? What color are their eyes? What color and style is their hair? Facial hair? Shape of face? What do their ears, nose and lips look like? What is their expression? How is their body shaped? What kind of clothes do they wear? What colors? Do they dress differently for work then they do in their leisure time? Do they stand straight? How tall are they in comparison to you? When you put your arms around them, how do they feel? Do they like to be barefoot? Do they feel their best in designer jeans or sweats and t-shirt?
2) Where do they live and what do they do? What part of the country are they living in? Do they travel? Do they own or rent a house or live on a boat? What does their house look like? Is it clean and neat or is it a mess? What color are their walls painted? Leather or fabric furniture? Is there a dog on their couch or cat claw marks on their dining room furniture? Do they decorate for the holidays? Do they have a garage? What is in the garage? What kind of car do they drive? How far do they travel to work? What do they do for a living? Do they like it or do they just work for a paycheck?? What are their spiritual beliefs?
3) What do they love to do? Do they read, like museums, go to music festivals? Are they at the latest movie? Do they drink alcohol and if so beer, wine or special drinks? Are they a good cook or do they like to go out to eat? What is their favorite food? Are they vegetarian or do they like fries with that? What is their favorite websites, blogs and online chat forums? Do they like the outdoors and enjoy hiking, skiing, or other activities? Do they read the newspaper or books or magazines? Do they help their friends out when there is a roof that needs to be replaced or someone needs help moving? Do they like the beach – ocean or lake? Would they rather be on a yacht or in a 2 person cozy canoe? What does their perfect date look like?
4) Where do they hang out? What does their Saturday night look like? Are they on the computer catching up on work related projects or playing games? Do they enjoy the nightlife that their city has to offer? Are they at a night club or party? Are they at the library checking out books? Are they at a concert or conference? Do they like to dance? How many friends do they have? Are they the center of attention at gatherings or do they enjoy everyone having a chance to shine? How do the people around them feel? Do they feel loved and seen or are they feeling honored to be in this persons company?
3) Take action
You can have anything you desire, that is just the law of the Universe. But you have to give the Universe hints that you are ready for it. It won’t just magically appear. Holy cow, with all those millions of discombobulated thoughts running through your head throughout the day, the Universe is easily confused by what is your truth and what is your inner dialogue. You need to take action steps. Once you start doing that the Universe will respond “Oh, s/he’s ready now. Ok, let’s go, we got this!” It becomes effortless and everything starts working out for your highest good.
So how to take action? Well, if you did the above step then you know exactly where to find this person. You probably know exactly where they will be this Saturday night. So sign up for that conference that interested you. Go see that movie or check out those books from the library. Go dance the night away with your girlfriends.
Get moving, take action, keep moving. Don’t sit at home asking God/Goddess/All That Is to have them appear at your doorstep. Chances are the FedEx guy is not your perfect partner (could be, who knows? Just saying that chances are he isn’t!)
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Please comment below and share your experience – you never know how your words may help someone else!
