We all have family, friends, and random acquaintances in our life. Depending on what kind of work you do, you may also have clients, customers or followers. Most of the time these people like us just fine. But every once in a while one will sneak in and cause a ruckus. And sometimes it hits us like a ton of bricks.
Why does this happen? Why, when you know there are 100 people out there that love you, or at least like you, does it really even matter that one person decides – for whatever reason – to be mean, to be a hater?
Most of the time may not matter to you and you don’t really care. Yet other times you crumble and obsess about why. Sometimes it just really triggers you.
I believe during these times it is God, The Universe, <insert here whatever higher power you feel you are a part of>, letting us know that it’s time to clear something out, to clean something up. Usually in the form of a belief that is no longer serving us.
We logically know that when someone strikes out at us that it is because we are being a mirror for them, showing them a part of themselves that they aren’t happy with. Or a part of us that they wish to be more like. It stirs THEIR pot and most of the time we brush it off knowing it has nothing to do with us.
Other times we can’t let it go. This is when it is about us. This is when THEY are being the mirror.
Here is a personal example and the steps I took to understand its lesson for me. I’m hoping it may help you too, just insert your own “trigger”.
I’ve been running an ad/post on Facebook regarding a Reiki Workshop I am doing. The majority of comments are about wanting to take the class or people tagging their friends that they think would be interested in it. But there are always a few skeptics and religious zealots that find they need to post their view about how horrible I am for being involved with something like this.
I usually just laugh, send love and delete the comments.
The other day one stood out. It triggered me. It was about how Reiki was just a woo-woo bunch of crap and how dare I make money from people by both providing the service and teaching it. I was taking advantage of people and I was a fraud.
Wow! That comment I felt in my gut. I felt it in my heart. I felt it in my eyes stinging with tears. I started thinking he’s right. Who am I to think that I know everything, that I am right, that I have the credibility to teach others something that can’t even really be explained. Maybe I was a fraud, maybe everyone was laughing behind my back. How dare I earn my living doing something like this.
Then I took a step back. Because this is the exact thing I coach people through. I did a little coaching session on myself! My first question: What are you making this mean about you Laura? What time and place is this drawing you into in past memories? What is this really all about? What mirror is this mean person holding up in front of you? What are you looking at?
I won’t bore you with the details of what I dug up, but suffice it to say I spent a couple of hours going deep and cleaning out an outdated belief about doing what you love not being “real work” and some other issues that dated back to another male’s voice from my childhood.
Then I laughed, sent BOTH of those men love, and deleted the comment.
Be mindful of what comments from others trigger you. If it triggers you, then look in the mirror. It only hurts for a little while! Next thing you know you’ll be laughing!
so interesting,, saw you on Monday for a session and the very next day I got this lesson in my life. Mine was more energetic dumping of one’s own stress. I was caught off guard and initially responded defensively, which,, hahaha,,, brought me right into the drama. I was quicker ( yeah!) at finding my balance. The next day I realized what it meant when people would tell me ” don’t take it personally.” I heard it from others for years in relationship to my spiritual growth, but this time it finally made sense on a visceral level. And the very next day, I spoke with my other “teacher”, my mother and I could “feel” her frustration- she kept trying to get off the phone hahaha- because she couldn’t find a way to get me to participate in the drama. I love these moments that I am aware of being able to find my balance. way cool! p.s. It’s real! Keep being a guiding light!
Thanks for sharing that Terese! It is pretty empowering to have that awareness and just become the non-judgmental “observer” both for the other AND yourself, isn’t it? Seems like when you recognize the “feeling” of the drama unfolding you can jump right out and understand it. How wonderful!
Laura. This was so well put together. Last Summer, you gave me a reading, which really opened up a lot of doors to old closets that needed clearing badly. Since then, I’ve been able to take the mirrors presented to me and bless them, no matter how painful. It’s a process, and it’s not anything my ego would call perfect. But thank you for making a difference through your sharing on all levels.
Ashley, glad you are working through things, and however you are doing it IS perfect! It just seems never ending, doesn’t it? We do so much work and then BAM! there’s another trigger! At least when you are aware of it the process gets a little easier each time. Thanks for your comment!