Make no time today for guilt or shame.
What these emotions do in your body are not good. They will increase the level of frustration, anger, fear and even depression. What good can any of this do for you today?
Guilt and shame can physically cause problems with prostate or ovaries, liver, kidneys, gall bladder, appendix, bladder, sinuses and even heart and lungs if it is based on unresolved grief. And who’s got time for that? Not you!
Guilt and shame come from either things that have happened in the past that you regret or in current situations that begin with the words “I should” and the choices you are making based on past issues or patterns.
If it is the “I should” guilt, then you may want to read this article I wrote on that subject. If it is from past regret, then I give you permission right now to let that go. Regrets can be changed if you choose to look at the gift or lesson in what happened. And yes, there most definitely is a gift or lesson. I firmly believe there are no mistakes – everything happens just as it is supposed to happen for the growth of all involved. You did what you did (or didn’t do) because that is the path that was in the highest good for everyone.
I understand that finding the gift or lesson may seem daunting, but if you take some time and work it out on paper you can release the guilt or shame you have been carrying with you up until now. Write down on the top of the paper what it is that you are holding onto and then make 2 columns, in the column on the left the write who and how it affected you or other people and in the column on the right write how that may have been good. Just ask yourself “what’s good about this?” Even if you deeply hurt someone or someone deeply hurt you, ask yourself what this has done to change their life or your life.
For example – if you were sexually abused as a child (which can cause profound shame), perhaps this made you a strong, independent, empathic and compassionate human being. Maybe you are a better parent for it, or perhaps it led you in the direction of your career or life purpose.
Or maybe you feeling guilty because you didn’t help bail someone out of jail the 3rd time they called and asked you to. You “should” have because you are their friend or family but you didn’t. Well maybe that helped them create new choices in their life and maybe for you it helped end some codependency issues.
Holding guilt and/or shame also causes you to be secretive and not able to be completely open and enjoy life to its fullest. You are afraid someone will find out so you are not able to stand tall, speak your truth and be free.
So what else can you do to eradicate guilt and shame from your energy system?
1) If you are holding shame for something someone else did to you – FORGIVE THEM! This doesn’t mean condoning their behavior in any way, it just means setting them free from your energy system and moving on so you can be happy and healthy.
2) If you are feeling guilt for something you did to someone else – FORGIVE YOURSELF! Truthfully apologize to them if you can and/or want to or just release it and know that perhaps you helped them in their life journey by what you did.
Forgiveness can be very difficult sometimes. But ask yourself “Is my health worth forgiving for?”
Today is a new day. Live it as such. Release the past. This is your permission slip.
If you find yourself needing some assistance with this, I have some coaching processes that will help. Just let me know, I’d be honored to help clear this for you!