Did you join the gym but still haven’t gone or created a routine?
Did you vow to quit smoking but just bought another pack of cigarettes?
Do you keep saying “Tomorrow I’m starting that diet?”
Well, you aren’t alone. And I’ve got a few thoughts for you to consider so you can actually achieve what you have sought out to do this year. It’s NOT too late!
If one of the things that keeps popping in your mind is “I should ____” then read this blog I wrote called “If You Think You Should … Maybe You Shouldn’t”. This is a big one for a lot of people and I explain how it personally affected me.
Basically you want to change your self-talk. Instead of thinking “I should go to the gym after work tonight” you can change that to “If I really wanted to, I COULD go to the gym after work tonight”. Or “I could quit smoking”. Or insert your own not completed resolution of course! It will ease up on the negative talk and give you a choice. And we all like to have a choice, right?
Also try changing “I can’t” to “I won’t”. Another choice for you to consider. Instead of “I can’t quit smoking” say “I won’t quit smoking”. Because that is the truth. “I can’t” is an ugly lie. You CAN do anything you want. You are just choosing right now not to do it. And that’s ok. Because every moment of every day you have the opportunity to make a new choice, right? You will do it when the time is right for you.
You may also consider what is stopping you. I’ll skip right to the point on this one and give you the answer. FEAR. And it is usually the fear of losing a part of ourselves. “Who would I be if I ….” can be a scary question. Because you know you won’t be the same person. And maybe that extra weight you are carrying around has served a purpose for you. Perhaps it has protected you in some way and if you lose it you feel like you are losing that protection.
Instead, feel into the feelings of the positive aspects of who you would be. Figure out the true reason you made that resolution in the first place. I want to go to the gym because my health is deteriorating and I want to be healthy. I want to feel good. I want to feel empowered by my own strength and determination.
Another thing to think about – know that if you are doing any changing in your life for another person you are just setting yourself up for failure. Even if your kids want you to quit smoking because they worry about you or your spouse is pulling away and you think if you lose weight you can get them back. NO! You have to make the choice and the commitment to yourself first. You have to do it because you are worthy, you are important, you deserve it. Otherwise you will obsess about not achieving your goal and that will usually create failure right from the start. Others may benefit from you changing but only if you do it for you first and foremost.
And don’t try to do it all at once. Don’t quit smoking, quit drinking, go on a diet and join the gym all at the same time. One…step…at…a…time. As soon as one thing starts feeling easy and not like it’s a struggle or sacrifice, then add the next thing. Ease into it. One foot in front of the other, and one day at a time. If you slip, then pick yourself up and start again. No big deal. You’ve got nothing to lose by starting again (well unless it is weight or bad health or that cough!)
Something else that may help is to make a list the night before for your day. Figure out your food for the day, an activity to do when you would normally smoke, or pack your gym bag. Preparation can make things a lot easier when something unexpected shows up. That way if you have prepared a snack, and ended up having to unexpectedly work through lunch, you can grab that instead of driving through McDonald’s on your way home because you are famished. Or you can remember that you have a 5 minute meditation or song on your iPod that you want to listen to instead of taking a smoke break.
Do you have any other suggestions or ideas that you have tried to make this easier for you? If so, please share in the comments below. I’m sure other readers would love to know!
Wishing you well on your journey into 2015!