First of all I’d like to clear up one thing. God does not judge you. You are not going to die, walk up to the pearly gates and be told whether you were good enough for Heaven. That is ridiculous! God is Love. God has no judgment, God is completely neutral. God gave you the gift of free will – what kind of a God would give you free will and then punish you for using it? Impossible I say, impossible!
But this post isn’t about Divine judgment. I’m talking here about human judgment. The way you judge others, the way you judge yourself, the way you care about how others judge you. If you could break free of the chains of judgment, what would be available to you today? Just imagine how you would live your life if everything you did, said and wanted was not good or bad, only neutral.
Many years ago I heard an adage that changed my life! I don’t recall where I heard it for sure, but I think it was during a Wayne Dyer seminar I attended. It went like this:
What other people think of me is none of my business
I attend a lot of workshops, classes, seminars and lectures. I hear a lot of words and theories that I try out on myself and some I even incorporate into my work. But no words had ever affected me the way these did. These words forever changed my life.
The words “What other people think of me is none of my business” rang in my head for days, begging to be heard. I took the sentence apart and examined it from every angle. How could this be possible? If I don’t care, how will I keep myself in check? How will I gauge my actions, how will I know if I’m on the right track if I don’t pay attention to the feedback from my friends, acquaintances and community?
Since these words would not quit bouncing around and off the walls of my brainbox, I decided to go ahead and pay attention. I would try it on and see how it fit. I would live as if I actually did not care. The results were astonishing!
It took a few days, but I became increasingly aware of judgment from others. It’s amazing how you don’t notice how many times a day someone says something to you or about you that affects your mood and self-esteem. Even something as silly as “You like blue pens, ewwww!” can deflate you. After about a week of paying attention I was easily able to let it go. I really didn’t care what other people thought about me anymore! I just paid no more never mind!
The two words that best sum up how it felt are TOTAL FREEDOM!
So then I realized if I was able to let that go, perhaps I should quit judging others. Yeah, it’s hard to admit it, but was a judge! At the beginning of my psychic awareness, I used to love to “people watch”. I would look at people and know their story. Then I would try to “help” them without them asking me. What an invasion of privacy, they never gave me permission to read them, who did I think I was? I didn’t realize that not everyone does this. I thought it was normal. Nonetheless, I quickly quit doing that unless someone paid me to do it (so no worries, I won’t ever read you unless you pay me! That’s my job, and I do it with the utmost integrity). And I recognized that was judging, looking at people and finding what was wrong in their lives. Why did I have to make it wrong in the first place? After digging deeper I remembered that we are all here for our own journey. Our struggles or non struggles are neutral; they are not good or bad. They just are what they are. How can I judge who someone is, what they do, the choices they make, etc. when there is a purpose for all of those things?
Once again – TOTAL FREEDOM! Finding the love in every situation, circumstance and person was really making me feel free!
There was just one more stop to make on the judgment train. I needed to stop judging myself. I didn’t care what anyone else thought about me, I was able to release any control I had over others and their life however, I still found myself with judgmental thoughts about myself. “Wow, my butt looks big in those pants.” “I’m so stupid.” “You don’t deserve that Laura.” Listening to the negative self chatter that goes on and on without end throughout the day was driving me crazy! Don’t pretend for one minute this doesn’t happen to you as well! It’s a crazy auto pilot strategy we use to keep us safe. To not expect too much means we can’t be let down too much. I knew to have the complete non-judgmental package I had to tackle this next. So I started reframing these words I said in the mirror to positives. If I caught myself saying “I’m so stupid” I would immediately add “but only once in a while. Most of the time I’m very smart” or something along those lines. After a while it got easier to change it before the thoughts even entered my brain. I would start out with positives while brushing my teeth. Looking in the mirror saying things like “You are awesome!” or “You are going to have a great day just because you are you!” I still do this daily because honestly, it just feels good and sets the tone for my day!
I feel more at peace and centered in a place of love than ever before. And the great thing is it takes a lot to get me out of that place, it very rarely happens. I am able to remain neutral to most everything. These simple words “What other people think of me is none of my business” truly changed my life! Thank you Wayne Dyer or whoever you were!
I’d love to hear your comments on this – please feel free to leave one below!
